This post isn’t so much about books although as a bookseller and bookstore owner, I feel most things in life connect to books in some way or another. As soon as I mention Amazon, you might think about books and all the deals you get ordering from the mega corporation. I don’t want to go off about ordering through Amazon rather than going to your independent bookstore where a person actually discusses good reads with you, or buying at your local grocery store, the one that regularly donates to the girls softball team. I just want to ask you to be sensible.
The reality is many folks think ordering through Amazon is easier and/or cheaper (at least that is what they tell me). You place your order for books-DVDs-clothes-kitchen utensils-anything and you get it overnight or at least in a few days. What could be better? But there are things you can’t order from Amazon and you can’t get in a few days and so it would be awesome if you think about these things now to figure out how you will have them when you need them.
Like having a bathroom/laundry room in your house that doesn’t require going up a flight of stairs when or if using stairs becomes an obstacle. Or getting your paperwork in order so if something really unexpected happens, your spouse or kids or friends aren’t faced with problems stretching from finding your car registration to trying to access bank accounts to knowing what you want done with your beloved cat. Or maybe there is a serious diagnosis and when you hear you’ve got a few months or maybe a year, you think I don’t need to start planning quite yet do I. Or you don’t believe the diagnosis because aren’t we all immortal?
You can put it on my age, or all this traveling where I talk with people who tell me their stories. There is the woman’s brother who is struggling as he lives alone, can’t cook or clean his house but what can the family do – at least that is what his sister tells me with a shrug. Or a man whose spouse has dementia. For the past few years, friends recommended books, encouraged him to join a support group, to at least talk with others who were farther along that path. But no, because hadn’t he promised through sickness and health they would stick together until death do us part? Then it isn’t death but a time when it is impossible for him to take care of his wife or think calmly about what is best for her. Planning is no longer an option because now it’s panic.
Have you read Being Mortal or When Breath Becomes Air? Have you seen the film “Iris” with Judi Dench and Kate Winslet? Haven’t you known people who died? Haven’t you seen others put off making decisions until the situation is out of control?
Yes, I am ranting because aging is part of our process from the moment we are born. And it is a fact that once you are born, you are bound to die. With other stages, we try to figure out how to do it well. Does the kid have a backpack for school? Have you talked with your teen about the facts of life? What will you do after graduation? What should we pack for the camping trip? But it seems at some point, there are people who dig in their heels, not wanting to plan for the next stage (for themselves or those they love), not wanting to consider our mortality.
Please be sensible. Amazon can’t promise next day delivery for these things.
Brian Doyle’s One Long River of Songs
Janet Yagoda Shagam’s A Caregiver’s Guide to Dementia
Ursula Le Guin’s No Time to Spare
The Conversation Project https://theconversationproject.org
Amazing Traveling Bookstore 